Many times I’ve felt bad after comparing myself to my peers. Maybe someone else did better in school, made more money at their job, or lifted more in the gym. I realized when I felt like this, one thing always helped: getting to know that person.
The truth is that everyone has problems. Getting to know people showed me that not only do they have problems I don’t have, they may achieve their success living a way I don’t want to live. People don’t share their problems nearly as openly as their successes, so that makes it easy to be jealous of a fake version of someone you don’t know that well.
In the end of the day, there will always be someone better than you. There will always be someone smarter, richer, or stronger. But no one will ever be better at being uniquely you.
At the same time, I believe there is such a thing as healthy comparison. Instead of putting yourself down when you look at your peers, try to see them as inspiration for what’s possible. In fact, if you’re comfortably more competent than all of your peers, you’re probably surrounding yourself with the wrong people. As long as it’s not viewed from a self-deprecating perspective, comparison can be a powerful force for change.
So don’t compare and despair — compare and be motivated by what’s possible, while recognizing that everyone has their own unique struggles. Most importantly, don’t let comparison distract you from who you want to be. At the end of the day, building the best version of yourself is always going to bring more happiness than trying to be someone else.